Phrases to Avoid When Children Are Anxious

Richard Dobrenov | Deputy Principal and Head of Senior School

One of Australia’s leading parenting educators and founder of “Parenting Ideas”, Michael Grose, identifies phrases to avoid when dealing with anxious children.  Grose states that sometimes the wrong tone or hastily selected words can upset children even further than they already are.

Don’t say “Build a bridge and get over it!”  Children who are genuinely anxious about a change in routine, an upcoming event such as Sports Day or an oral presentation to classmates, do not respond positively to the Drill Sergeant command of “Build a Bridge and Get Over it!”  Grose identifies that adults say this because their level of exasperation has begun to peak and they have run out of options.  A suggested alternative to the Drill Sergeant is to show the child that you understand their worries and fears by saying, “Ah! I can see that you are worried about the Sports Day” and then look at possible scenarios of how the day could unfold.  Do not give in and say that they don’t have to attend because the next situation will be worse.  Show the child that you understand their fears but do not give in to them.

Similarly, “This is not worth worrying about. Stop being so silly!” is another phrase Grose identifies as negative.  Such statements heighten the child’s anxiety because it appears as though you are not taking their fears seriously.  It could also be misconstrued as making fun of them; which again is counterproductive.  Show the child that you understand how they feel and again discuss situations that may occur.

Telling a child to “Calm Down” is another counterproductive phrase identified by Grose.  Often anxiety manifests itself through high emotion and distress and rather than attempting to soothe them with a calm tone, Grose suggests that the adult matches their level of intensity and talks them down by saying, “Yep, I can see that you’re upset.  That’s understandable,” using the same intensity and volume.    By matching their intensity and volume there is a greater chance of bringing down their emotions.

“Oh My God! That is horrible!” is the next phrase Grose seeks to challenge.  By being drawn into the child’s anxieties you lose your ability to be objective.  “You should be worried about that!” is another statement where adults can either create worries that aren’t there or even worse, they impose their own anxieties on to their children or other young people.  Too often as parents we can be too protective, particularly if our own schooling was an unpleasant experience.  In seeking to shield our children and by smoothing out any potential bumps that lay ahead, our child doesn’t learn to identify challenges and understand the all-important relationship between action and consequence.

Finally, Grose discusses the statement, “Stop being so naughty.  Behave yourself.”  When children are nervous and anxious they often act out and whilst as an adult it is natural to focus on their poor behaviour; focussing on the reasons for such behaviour is crucial to overcome it.  By identifying the triggers of such behaviours, the level of anxiety can potentially be reduced.

By responding appropriately to anxiety rather than the previous modes of thought centred around, “Just get over it,” Grose believes there is a greater opportunity to control it.  It is important that parents and teachers work together to both acknowledge and address the issue of anxiety because studies are revealing that unchecked anxiety in children will be prevalent in adulthood.

From Cunningham House featured image

From Cunningham House

Above: Year 8 boarder Lachie Woods enjoyed his weekend out with day student Ryan Bohm. Mr Stewart Bailey | Head of Junior Boys’ Boarding As …

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From Cunningham House

Above: Year 8 boarder Lachie Woods enjoyed his weekend out with day student Ryan Bohm.

Mr Stewart Bailey | Head of Junior Boys’ Boarding

As I sit at my desk gathering my thoughts for this article, I reflect upon a very busy and more importantly a very rewarding week in Junior Boys’ Boarding; especially with many of our Junior boarders involved with Rugby and other Co-curricular activities. Your sons never fail to amaze me with their abilities both on and off the sporting fields, as well as making me laugh with their stories of life outside of the College. This term so far, I have seen your boys show great commitment to their respective Rugby Teams.

Sporting fields aside, the boys also have great delight in sharing their achievements in the classroom. The evening banter around academic achievement and small wins within a particular class, always bring a smile to my face. It is heart-warming to see their joy and sense of accomplishment when they’ve finished an assignment or gone the extra mile in making a powerpoint presentation that bit better than it was before.

Finally, from myself this week I would like to send a big “Thank You” to the wonderful families who hosted several Junior Boy Boarders for our first “Adopt a Boarder” weekend. The boys returned to the house with stories of adventure and cries of “Sir, when is our next Adopt a Boarder weekend?”. The interaction between our boarders and the day families is truly a highlight for me and I’m very grateful for the families who opened up their homes.  We are looking forward to the next Adopt-a-Boarder weekend, however, day families are welcome to host boarding students whenever they are able.

From Hawkins House featured image

From Hawkins House

Mr Fraser Bolton | Head of Senior Boys Boarding This week, in Senior Boys’ Boarding, we have been reflecting upon the qualities that define leaders. …

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From Hawkins House

Mr Fraser Bolton | Head of Senior Boys Boarding

This week, in Senior Boys’ Boarding, we have been reflecting upon the qualities that define leaders. As Term 3 continues with gusto, our Year 12s have once again found opportunities to be involved within the College community. This has included boys who hold formal leadership positions, including as Boarding leaders, College prefects and in the co-curricular sphere, as well as those without ‘official’ roles but whose contributions are integral to the smooth operation of Hawkins House.

Our Year 11 students also have leadership in the forefront of their minds, as they have reflected on their experiences from camp while they have been considering their applications for leadership roles within the College for 2021. I have had the opportunity to speak to many of the Year 11 boarders about their personal leadership aspirations, as well as their vision for the College in the future. It is particularly heartening to see the boys express their desire to honour and celebrate those unique facets of College life which genuinely inform our identity as a school. These boys recognise the meaning attached to the wearing of the College blazer, or the First XV jersey, or the Cameron of Erracht kilt – their value transcends the symbolic, and they become tangible markers of belonging.

An interesting article by Harry Kretchmer published in the World Economic Forum this week ruminated on “3 leadership lessons from the age of coronavirus”. By especially considering the leaders of nations who had weathered the COVID-19 storm effectively, Kretchmer summarised that the most successful and respected leaders were those who could:

  1. Lead with empathy and honesty (here, New Zealand’s Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern was singled out as a particular example);
  2. Be agile (that is, being highly adaptable to the multiple and rapidly evolving demands of leadership); and
  3. Show that they trust and value the people around them.

These three points, along with the old adage ‘service before self’, form an excellent blueprint for our current, aspiring and emergent leaders. The opportunity to have students from four different year levels living and working together in Hawkins House provides the perfect environment for natural leadership opportunities to emerge as the younger students naturally emulate the older boys.

 

Around Girls Boarding… featured image

Around Girls Boarding…

Image above: Hanna Eising, Molly Rose Sinclair and Clarina deJager Our girls have been busy this last week! Have a look at what they’ve been …

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Around Girls Boarding…

Image above: Hanna Eising, Molly Rose Sinclair and Clarina deJager

Our girls have been busy this last week! Have a look at what they’ve been up to.

The girls having a go at rock climbing as one of the boarder activities

Jacolene deJager and Rachel Caton

Charlotte Jarvis and Leilani Lavea

Elly Jackson and Molly Rose Sinclair

Rosalie sets the tone featured image

Rosalie sets the tone

Mr Sandy Dalziel | Pipe Band Master Year 9 student and College bagpiper Rosalie Mauch, set the tone at Leslie Park this week as the …

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Rosalie sets the tone

Mr Sandy Dalziel | Pipe Band Master

Year 9 student and College bagpiper Rosalie Mauch, set the tone at Leslie Park this week as the community commemorated Long Tan Day on Tuesday 18 August.  This was the 54th Anniversary of the Battle of Long Tan which took place in South Vietnam during the Vietnam War. The action was fought between Viet Cong and People’s Army of Vietnam units and elements of the 1st Australian Task Force.  17 Australians were killed and a further 25 were wounded, one of whom later died of wounds. This was the highest number of Australian casualties incurred in any one engagement of the Vietnam War.

Our SCOTS PGC College community was extremely well represented at the memorial service with a contingent of Prefects; an inspiration to our local community and ex-Servicemen.  Rosalie set an ambience and reflection during the laying of memorial wreaths at the Cenotaph.  She was thanked for her musical efforts by the Southern Downs Ex-Services Association Queensland and other local dignitaries.

Aged residents enjoy a curb side concert featured image

Aged residents enjoy a curb side concert

This week a small group of our pipers and drummers set themselves up on the footpath outside the Churches of Christ Aged Care Home in …

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Aged residents enjoy a curb side concert

This week a small group of our pipers and drummers set themselves up on the footpath outside the Churches of Christ Aged Care Home in Dragon Street to treat the residents to a curb side concert.

With current COVID restrictions, the senior members of our community find themselves in the vulnerable category which often means that they are confined to remain within the facility and unable to take regular outings as they previously enjoyed.

The residents eagerly watched on from the sunny spots of their balconies as our SCOTS PGC pipers and drummers played tune after tune.  It was heart-warming to hear the cheering and applause at the end of each song.

From all reports, the residents loved every minute. “It was absolutely fantastic! The huge smiles and sheer joy, not to mention the dancing… Was so beautiful and so thankful to SCOTS PGC for doing this for the residents!” – Churches of Christ Aged Care staff

 

EKKA Success! featured image

EKKA Success!

Junior Judging Stars (above): Ellyse Kruger, Georgia Mulcahy and Benjamin Carey Mr Peter Collett | Cattle Club The SCOTS PGC Cattle Club competed in this …

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EKKA Success!

Junior Judging Stars (above): Ellyse Kruger, Georgia Mulcahy and Benjamin Carey

Mr Peter Collett | Cattle Club

The SCOTS PGC Cattle Club competed in this year’s virtual EKKA by taking part in the led steer Carcass Competition and the online Junior Livestock Judging.

In the Carcass Competition, we sent off three steers and two heifers.  One of our steers placed third in the 210 -250 kg Junior Led Steer Carcass.

However, the real success for us this year was in the Virtual Online Junior Livestock Judging, where I asked Cattle Club members to judge not only the led steers and stud Charolais bulls, but as many of the other livestock classes as they wished.   Up against young men and women from all over Australia, our team did exceptionally well! Congratulations to Georgia Mulcahy (Year 7) who won the under 15 years Horse Judging with Ellyse Kruger (Year 7) placing third and Benjamin Carey (Year 8) who placed third in the under 15 years Stud Beef Cattle Junior Judging section.

This is a fantastic achievement for these students and well done to all our other students who put in a lot of effort and had a go!

Interschool Netball Competition featured image

Interschool Netball Competition

Mrs Estie Wiid | Netball Co-ordinator Three teams consisting of 26 girls participated in the Interschool Netball Competition hosted by Assumption College on the 19th …

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Interschool Netball Competition

SCOTS 1, 2 and 3 – 26 girls participated in the Interschool netball competition at Assumption College

Mrs Estie Wiid | Netball Co-ordinator

Three teams consisting of 26 girls participated in the Interschool Netball Competition hosted by Assumption College on the 19th August. Despite a very windy day, the girls enjoyed a wonderful afternoon of netball.

All the teams had a great experience, with abilities on court ranging from first time players to those with more experience. It was great to see our girls giving it their all, having a go and supporting one another on and off the court.

SCOTS 1 and 2 ended up playing each other in the finals and all the girls received a certificate for their participation and commitment to ensuring netball is a wonderful experience for all.

A big thank you to all the umpires, helpers and staff at ACW who contributed to make this afternoon a success.

Ladies Netball competition (Warwick & District Netball Association)

The end of another netball season is in sight with both SCOTS PGC teams qualifying to play in the 2020 Semi-Finals of the Ladies Netball competition here in town.

Both our Open and Junior teams have placed second on the ladder in the B and D Divisions respectively.

Well done to our Open team for accepting the challenge to play in a higher grade and coming in second for the B Division.

Thank you to the Warwick & District Netball Association for their tireless work and ongoing commitment to offer opportunities for our girls to foster friendships and challenge themselves against other experienced players. We have a lot to be proud of and grateful for – our girl’s tenacious attitudes saw them exemplify great sportsmanship throughout the season; qualities we look for in all SCOTS PGC students.

Thank you to the parents that supported us on Monday and Tuesday nights, it was excellent to see supporters brave the cold weather to cheer our students on.

Please mark these important dates on your calendars:

  • Semi-Finals – 24th & 25th August
  • Preliminary Finals – 31st August
  • Grand Finals – 7th September

From the Co-curricular Desk

Mr Tom Bradbury | Assistant Director of Co-curricular Activities Caitlin captains Darling Downs U19 Netball Congratulations to Caitlin Skaines who was named as the captain …

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From the Co-curricular Desk

Mr Tom Bradbury | Assistant Director of Co-curricular Activities

Caitlin captains Darling Downs U19 Netball

Congratulations to Caitlin Skaines who was named as the captain of the Darling Downs Under 19 Netball side this week.  Caitlin will lead her team at the upcoming Queensland State Championships which are scheduled to take place in Brisbane at the end of this month.

 

Southern Downs Cricket

This week we conducted an internal trial for the several boys keen to trial for the Southern Downs Trials next Thursday. At the conclusion of the trial it was decided that 4 lads would move to the next stage with William Angus, James Bourke, Tanner Henley and Colby Miller demonstrating significant skill across the afternoon.

 

SCOTS Cricket

Term 4 is fast approaching and therefore so is the 2020/21 Cricket Season. In the coming weeks we will be seeking EOI’s from students who may like to join our teams for the season. All games will be on Saturday morning with most games played here at SCOTS. Keep an eye out on your messages for details in the coming weeks.

 

Athletics Carnivals

This week the Senior Carnival Timetable was released to the community with a two-day carnival slated for 3 – 4 September which includes the P&F Colour Run as the grand finale to the second day. The Junior and Middle Carnival will take place on 11 September. Please note there are several pre-events to be conducted on 31 August and 1 September for both these carnivals. More details will be forthcoming in the next week. Nominations for additional events have been taken for the Senior Carnival this week, if your child has missed this process please SEQTA Message your nominations to Mr Bradbury.

 

First XV Match Report v TAS | 19 August

Wednesday night saw our SCOTS PGC boys head to Highfields for Round 4 of the Super Schools Cup. Here they took on the boys from Toowoomba Anglican School.

Both teams were keen to throw the ball around in the first stanza which resulted in a see-sawing affair of dropped ball and missed opportunities. Finally, SCOTS scored a 5 pointer and Darcy Brennan slotted the extras. In a grinding finish to the first half Buchannan Titus kicked our way downfield to secure a penalty 8 metres out in the shadows of half time. The boys set two pods in preparation for the assault on the TAS line. Buchannan opted for the tap and fed the ball to a very eager Ben Whibley who stepped left then right then left and finally straightened to take three defenders with him as he pierced the line to take us to a 12-0 half time lead.

With the game being far from secure, a rousing half time speech seemed to do the trick with a very confident start to the second half from the men in red and green. Better ball control, urgency to the breakdown and dogged persistence saw Buchannan score off the back of a Seb Christensen push through from 10 metres out. No conversion was forthcoming and the score crept up to 17-0.

Far from spent the TAS boys quickly struck back catching the SCOTS team off guard and clawing back 5 points just as if to say ‘we are still in this!” After this brief lapse in concentration the lads regrouped and started a concerted and patient march towards the TAS line with several phases of play including three or four turnovers before they finally were able to set up a slick backline move that saw Bailey Fowler rewarded for his defensive contribution as fullback with a 5 pointer in the corner, effectively sealing the match with 6 minutes or so to play.

The team from TAS never gave up however, and although dominating the final minutes SCOTS were unable to score again against their stubborn defense.

The win was certainly a team effort with several lads contributing significantly to the final result, in a game that at times, could have gone either way. Buchannan Titus, Ronan Crotty, Braithe Rohde, Ben Whibley, Jack Kenny, Hayes Cook and Seb Christensen were just some of the significant contributors to this win.

The hallmarks of the win were certainly the patience and calmness of the second half performance and the “never say die” attitude of all participants who gave their all for each other.

I for one, look forward to the remaining games of the season as this group gain momentum into the final weeks.

 

National Schools Futsal Preparations

Training is ramping up with the Queensland West Teams commencing training last weekend in the John Muir Sports Centre. All girl’s teams are training at our venue and the teams looked good with several SCOTS PGC participants being a part of the program. Training will continue over the remainder of the Term as we hopefully look forward to the Championships in Brisbane at the end of September. Mr Derek Kane has been named the U19 QLD West Coach whilst Mr Bradbury has been appointed to the U15 Team as their mentor.

 

Photo Galleries

In the coming weeks I will be adding some galleries to our SCOTS App / Photo link. Last night’s First XV match is the latest gallery to be added and our cross country photos will be added soon along with upcoming athletics carnivals.

 

Father’s Day Stall featured image

Father’s Day Stall

It’s not long until Father’s Day and we begin to wonder… ‘what shall I get dad?’.  To help with that special gift choice, the P&F …

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Father’s Day Stall

It’s not long until Father’s Day and we begin to wonder… ‘what shall I get dad?’.  To help with that special gift choice, the P&F will be running a Father’s Day Stall for the Prep to Year 5 children with around 20 different gift choices.

When:  Wednesday 2 September.

Where: Wilf Arthur Learning Enrichment Centre (WALEC)

Gifts:  There will be $5 and $10 gifts

Further details will follow but for now, please mark the Father’s Day stall in your calendar (2 September).

 

Prep Come and Play featured image

Prep Come and Play

The College is hosting a ‘Prep Come and Play’ morning on Friday 28 August.  We are extending an invitation to all families who have kindergarten …

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Prep Come and Play

The College is hosting a ‘Prep Come and Play’ morning on Friday 28 August.  We are extending an invitation to all families who have kindergarten aged children to come and discover what Prep is all about.

The morning runs from 9:00am until 11:00am.  Parents can deliver their pre Prep students to our Prep classroom where they’ll enjoy a morning experiencing a typical morning in the classroom.  Parents are invited to take a tour of the College and speak one on one with Ms Amy Woodgate – our Head of Junior and Middle Schools.

Families who intend to join us for the morning are required to register their attendance via our website:

https://scotspgc.com.au/events/prep-come-play-morning/

Year 12 Homestyle Bake Pie Drive featured image

Year 12 Homestyle Bake Pie Drive

Stash some ready-made meals in the freezer this winter and grab some sweet treats for dessert! Support the Year 12 Fundraiser by ordering some Homestyle …

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Year 12 Homestyle Bake Pie Drive

Stash some ready-made meals in the freezer this winter and grab some sweet treats for dessert!

Support the Year 12 Fundraiser by ordering some Homestyle Bake Products. You can now order online at homestylebake.com.au and selecting Order Online. Register using your details and enter our fundraiser code FSCOTSPGCCOWAR110920. Orders close on Wednesday 2 September for pickup on Friday 11 September between 2:45 pm and 3:30 pm from the Assembly Hall (or by arrangement).

Collect orders from friends, family and work colleagues and add new orders to your account to allow for easy collection. A short online ordering video is available here.

Every order helps the Year 12 cohort in their fundraising efforts.

College Colour Run featured image

College Colour Run

The School Fun Run’s Crazy Colour Day is our major fundraising event this year! The event will be held on Friday, September 4, following the …

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College Colour Run

The School Fun Run’s Crazy Colour Day is our major fundraising event this year!

The event will be held on Friday, September 4, following the Athletics Carnival. So far our wonderful students have raised just over $8,000 which will pay for a Weather Shelter to protect students waiting to enter the Dining Hall. This is fantastic but we want to keep going, every dollar raised helps us achieve our goal!

Keep your eyes out for the sponsorship forms which were be sent home with your child. Once you have the form, you should sign up for a Student Profile Page at schoolfunrun.com.au. You’ll be able to access online fundraising and can win a $20,000 Ultimate Family Experience!

Students who raise $10 or more will receive a reward, and the more money you raise the better the reward, and the more you help the College!

We’re looking for all students to participate and we’re organising a great day for our community, so we’d love everyone to come down to support our students.

Thanks for supporting the College and we hope to see you support the event!